She hadn’t been in his physical presence since the night of their high school graduation. Now, thirty years later, she finds herself standing on his doorstep, about to ring the doorbell.
Lincoln was her high school crush. In school, they had exchanged words of mutual interest (through friends as was done in the day before texting), but nothing romantic had ever transpired between them. He had a girlfriend at the time, and was faithful and true. She respected him for that.
They’d been in touch loosely, once every decade or so, thanks to the networking help of social media. A small seed of curiosity about how he would have been as a lover never left the back of her mind in all those years.
She found herself in LA and was inspired to reach out. They made plans to have a meal together. She asked him to drive so she wouldn’t have to navigate LA freeways in a rental car. She took a Lyft to his place — a glass and concrete modern structure that was perched halfway up the Hollywood Hills.
On one of their early once-in-a-decade calls, he’d described her as a “Jennifer Garner” type, which she took as a compliment. She decided to play up the comparison by wearing a form fitting dress that accentuated her long body and small breasts, but kept further adornments, like her hair and jewelry, simple in a girl-next-door sort of way.
While she was curious how he’d spent the last two decades of his life, and what his hopes and dreams were for the future, she was most interested in whether or not she would still be attracted to him, and how he’d be as a lover now.
Lincoln answered the door wearing an untucked, black v-neck t-shirt that showed off his toned arms and chest, and a pair of jeans that fit too well to be off the shelf. He certainly had less hair than in high school. Actually his beautiful dark hair had migrated entirely from the top of his head to a thick beard, leaving behind a smooth, shiny scalp. The dark beard encircled a toothy grin as Lincoln stood in the doorway taking her in.
Confirmed. She was still attracted to him. And it seemed that the feeling was mutual.
He stepped out to embrace her and she noticed that they were very similar in height. Their bodies fit together easily and gracefully. She also noticed that he offered all of himself in the hug, including his pelvic region. Men who were afraid to include their pelvis in a hug, were often afraid of many other things as well. He was also not afraid to hold a hug, for several seconds past the socially-accepted time frame. These were all data points she collected to start to paint a picture of how he might be as a lover.
He took her hand as he led her into the house. They exchanged a few words of pleasantries about their reunion, the view of the city, how good each other looked. In the long silent spaces, her eyes scanned the room taking in the pop art work on the walls, the titles of the books on the shelves, the photos of nieces and nephews in frames. His eyes rarely left her body except to follow her gaze to see what parts of his life she was drinking in visually.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Lincoln asked while still holding her hand.
His words turned her attention back to his face. She smiled, holding his gaze.
“No, thank you. But I would love a tour of your beautiful place.”
Still holding her hand, he led her out onto a small balcony where the late afternoon sun was blasting the already pre-heated concrete walls. They re-entered through the office door to the balcony. A steel and glass desk was scattered with Apple products, various cords, and piles of scripts and other papers. The office was also the gym, and she stepped over a mat on the floor and by the kettle balls along the wall.
Out of the office he led her to a narrow, glass stairway and encouraged her to head up first. She could feel his eyes on her ass as she walked ahead of him, and felt confident knowing how flattering this dress was on her.
She emerged into a room with wood floors and a vaulted ceiling. The minimalist space had a neatly made bed in the center, sitting low to the floor, and smelling of fresh laundry. Lush green houseplants were unobtrusively, yet instagramably scattered about the space. One large canvas painted in several shades of tropical green was flanked by two closed doors. Otherwise the space was empty.
The only thing that made the room sexier was turning back to see Lincoln leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, with an approving look in his eyes.
She didn’t want to get in the car. She didn’t want to sit in traffic on the 405. She didn’t want to make small talk in some loud restaurant with plastic people.
She did want to know the answer to her age-old question.
“What do you think would have happened if we’d been lovers after graduation?”
A bit startled by her cut-to-the-chase question, Lincoln held his breath. She could see the movie playing in his head. She wondered if this was a familiar movie to him, or whether he was making it up on the spot?
“Well,” he replied slowly, “I think we would have had a really fun summer before we left for college in the fall.”
She wondered if he had any idea of how fun it really would have been. That was a time in her life when she seemed to have an insatiable sex drive, could orgasm easily and frequently, and had not yet been shamed about her body or her sexuality so it was offered so purely and innocently.
The movie that played in her mind was of two young lovers who looked for every opportunity to fuck. And in the moments between fucking, he would sing and play his guitar for her, or would sketch her reclining nude on his parents bed in the middle of the day, or they would drink blended iced coffee while wandering around an art museum on a hot summer afternoon. And his art and music and mystery would make her wet and horny for him all over again.
But in that moment, standing there in his bedroom, he didn’t ask her what she thought would have happened.
“But I am glad we weren’t lovers in high school.”
Now it was her turn to hold her breath. He noticed the line between her eyebrows deepen slightly.
“I am glad we weren’t lovers in high school because then I was only a good lover.” He let the unstated hover between them.
She forgot her desire to keep her slow pace. “And now?” She blurted.
Not matching her rush, Lincoln slowly walked towards her. After taking her hands in his, he finally responded, “And now, I am a great lover.”
Her pussy responded immediately to his confidence by generating a hint of moisture, and a tremendous amount of heat.
What she didn’t tell him was that now, she was a great lover too. Working through body shame and discomfort, she now loved every inch of her skin, the way her flesh hung on bone and muscle, the parts that were soft and round, and the parts that were long and lean. Knowing her body did not stop skin deep. She knew her wants and desires, and how to bring herself physical as well as soul-filled pleasure. Her orgasms were no longer tallied only by number, but also by type (and so far, her body was capable of having 5 different types of orgasms). She also honed her skills at receiving and sending energy, through touch, gaze, utilizing all seven chakras.
“I want you to push me against the wall and kiss me.” Lincoln instructed.
Hallelujah, she thought. A man who knows what he wants and will ask for it. And she loved his request.
Still holding his hands she slowly walked backwards pulling him towards the nearest blank wall of the bedroom. Gently turning him around, she put her hands on his shoulders, and pressed him back into the cool, concrete wall. Applying light pressure to his shoulders, she held him there, taking in his eyes and lips. You only get one first kiss. She was in no rush.
Moving her hands from his shoulders to the back of his neck, she leaned in and kissed him tenderly. She kissed him as though he was a long lost lover who would be her lover forever more. She kissed him with all the passion and heat in her pussy. She kissed him as though that moment was the most important moment in history of the universe.
Typically before connecting sexually with a new lover, she would forewarn them that she would hold nothing back — not her love or body, not her energy, nor her intention or presence. She felt like the forewarning often helped prevent energetic overload in a man which often manifested as their body and mind shutting down (no erection), or their body going into a hyperdrive rush (premature ejaculation). Sadly, even with the warning, many of the men she had been with experienced energetic overload with her. She did not warn Lincoln, but she had a strong sense she would not need to.
When she pulled back from the kiss she could feel his heart beating quickly and a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. She smiled and pressed his shoulders back against the wall, reaching her energy down into the earth below their feet, and pulling it back up through her body and out through her hands, sending into him. She could feel the grounding presence spread through his muscles, his heartbeat slow, and the uncertainty in his eyes shift to understanding.
Running her hands down his chest, she reached for the bottom hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. She pressed against his chest and he shuddered as his warm back touched the cool wall. She traced one hand down the center line of his strong chest, over the band of his jeans, and rubbed his swollen cock. She sighed and closed her eyes as the energy from his cock rushed up into her body, adding to the wetness in her pussy.
As her eyes were closed, Lincoln surprised her by swapping places with her, grabbing her shoulders and pressing her against the wall. She surrendered to his movement, allowing herself to become completely receptive to his actions and energy.
This time it was Lincoln’s turn to kiss her. He gathered her wrists together, lifting them over her head, and pinning them up against the wall with one hand. With this other hand, he traced his finger over the curve of her eyebrow, following along her temple, to her jawbone, and bottom of her chin. He tipped her face up, all while looking into her eyes. Gazing back, she saw his deep hunger and an excitement that he might be finally met by a sexual equal.
So many of the women he’d been with before seemed to only know what porn modeled. By this point they were moaning and pursing their duck-like lips, or trying to talk dirty, or started calling him “daddy.” But here was a woman who was completely present with him, in her own power and yet making space for all of his power as well. As he kissed her, it felt completely different then it ever had with others. There was no performance, no guessing, no wandering. It was just his lips on hers, his energy mixing with hers, and their shared moment in time.
He released her hands from the bind above her head and gently massaged them while smiling at her. He wanted to handle this experience as the precious gift that it was.
“Wait here. I am going to get a few things.” He requested. “While you wait, I want you to slowly inch the bottom of your dress up as high as it will go. But stop before you fully expose yourself.”
She watched him walk away, barely hiding the light leap in his step as his disappeared behind one of the closed doors in the wall. He returned holding a stack of neatly folded, matching towels. Such a small detail but another data point that continued to tell her that he was a mature adult, an added turn-on.
Her hands had drifted down to the elastic base of her dress, and she was ever so slowly inching it up from her knees. She kept watching Lincoln as he pulled back the bedcovers and organized the blankets, and then disappeared into the second closed door to return with a small metal trunk that he put at the side of the bed.
Every time their eyes met, she sent a wave of energy from her body to his. The second time it happened, Lincoln broke eye contact, shook his head and sighed “damn…” before looking back to her.
By now, her dress was at the base of her hips just exposing the bottom edge of her freshly shorn and soft pussy lips and his eyes lingered there. “You’re not wearing any panties!” He exclaimed.
He walked back over to her and kneeled before her. Placing his forehead on her pubic mound, she could hear him take in a deep breath through his nose. “Mmmmmm” he moaned. Standing back up, he reached up to undo the straps of the dress that were tied behind her neck. She kept her body still as she surrendered to his direction and clear desires.
Once untied, he released the straps pulling the dress down until it just hovered on top of her small breasts. He took a step back to see her better. Putting one hand on his cock over his jeans, he asked “Will you show me?”
Keeping her eyes locked with his, while also taking in his hand on his cock in her peripheral vision, she reached up to the top of her dress, slowly pulling the top down until her nipples and full breasts were revealed. With her breasts unconstrained, she felt them connect and turn on to the energy in the room. She sent a deep breath into her chest, and released the breath riding on the wave of energy out through her breasts. Her nipples fully hardened and she could hear Lincoln release a breath he had been unconsciously holding.
He stepped back towards her, tracing the outline of her breasts, and gently cupping them in his hands. “Gorgeous” he said to her.
She could feel her breasts filling with energy and sensation. She was grateful, but not surprised, that he didn’t immediately start sucking and tweaking her sensitive nipples, like men so often did far too quickly and long before they were ready for that level of intensity. Her breasts felt safe in his appreciation and tender care.
He leaned in to kiss her again. He was going to touch his lips to hers as much as possible. He lingered there, not wanting to rush, not wanting anything to change about the current experience. Even if it all ended in the next moment, this interaction with her would already make it into his ten best fucks of all time. The thought made him smile when he realized this accomplishment, and he hadn’t even taken off his pants yet. Everything else that happened for here would just make the experience even better and more delicious.
This realization shifted something inside of him, something he didn’t know he’d been holding. Any subconscious sense of pressure around performance or the end result suddenly vanished. He felt himself drop deeper into the pleasure of the moment, into feeling her pleasure, into the excitement of discovering what they were going to co-create together. With this release came a huge rush of energy and blood to his already hard cock, making it swell even tighter against his fitted jeans.
He stepped away from her and she could sense this shift in him too. He seemed less serious, more playful, and intoxicatingly curious. She enjoyed staring at the the small creases on the sides of his eyes and he held her gaze while slowly removing his jeans and boxers. His erect cock pointed directly at her and she could feel its energy penetrating her already.
Putting his hands on her hips and leaning in as if he was going to kiss her again, he instead spun her around to face the wall. Her hands blocked her body from touching the wall directly. While she couldn’t see what he was doing, she could feel him slowly pulling the rest of her dress down over her ass and completely off her body.
Pressing his body and cock against her backside, he leaned his head against hers so he could speak directly into her ear.
“I am so ready to play with you. Here are the instructions. They’re simple really. Red means stop. Yellow means slow down. Green means more.” And with that, he began to kiss her neck.
“Yellow” she whispered.
He chuckled and then kissed her neck, even more slowly.
She closed her eyes and felt his chest rising and falling with each breath as he kissed her neck and shoulder. She matched her breathing to his and felt their bodies further align.
As she breathed with him, she made sure all of her senses were fully turned on. With him pressed so close to her, she was taking in and enjoying his unique scent. There was music playing somewhere in the house that she could now hear, and noticed that he was moving with a similar rhythm to the song. She could taste him on her lips and in her mouth and looked forward to tasting more.
Her pussy was soaking wet. She wondered if she was quite to the stage of it dripping down her thigh yet. One of her favorite sensations was being this turned on, and yet not having her pussy or breasts even touched yet. She repeated one of her mantras in her head: “I can enjoy all of this, and more.” As her body and mind expanded their awareness and readiness for more, she whispered “green.”
Lincoln reached one arm around the front of her body, skimming between her chest and wall and cupped her far breast. With his other hand, he reached between her legs, allowing the outer edges of his arm to press against her inner thighs without actually touching her lips. When his hand reached the front of her body, he turned his palm up to cup her pussy and pubic mound and pressed his forearm against her vulva and spread her ass cheeks.
He took a deep breath as he felt the heat and wetness of her pussy against his forearm. She was still breathing with him and felt the surge of excited energy in his body spread through hers. When they exhaled, the peak of energy released from her body in the form of amrita, or squirting, as most mainstream porn calls it. An involuntarily, deep moan escaped as well which often accompanied these types of energy orgasms in her.
Lincoln gasped and laughed at the same time, but didn’t remove his hand despite it (and the floor and their feet) being dripping wet. He took another deep breath, and he exhaled he sent his pleasure and excitement and intention into his arms holding her breasts and her pussy and ass. His exhale peaked her orgasm again and she sent another shower of pleasure. “Green!”
The playful curiosity he found earlier took over his brain. Lincoln kept breathing and sending energy into her body. And her body kept responding with deep moans of pleasure and more liquid then he’d ever seen come out of one person. Her head listed back to lie on his shoulder, her hands against the wall, and her breath continued to stay in synch with his. She continued to orgasm every three or four outbreaths. After each orgasm, she responded with “green” until finally he could feel that he was carrying more of her weight in his arms as her legs weakened. Before she could say “green” again, he whispered “red” and she surrendered back into his arms.
He switched his grip from between her legs to behind her back and under her knees and carrying her, dripping all over the floor, to the bed. They were both glad he’d taken the time to get out towels and prepare the bed, although neither of them had expected that outcome.
She laughed and panted as she flopped back onto the pillows as he first dried her belly, pussy, legs and feet — all of which were speckled with spray. He left her lying there as he dried himself off, and finally mopping up the puddle on the floor where they had been standing.
“I’m so sorry for the mess” she said as she watched him wiping up the floor.
“Oh my God, that was one of the most amazing things I’ve ever experienced in my life. Please do not be sorry!” He replied as he threw the soaked towel in a corner.
“I have so many questions for you! What was that? How did you learn to do that? How does that work?” Lincoln started rattling while sitting beside her on the bed.
She sat up and kissed him to silence the string of questions. She sent her depth of appreciation for that experience through her lips and tongue into his, and trusted her gratitude was fully conveyed.
Pausing, she looked at him seriously, before squealing “green!” jumping up and pushing Lincoln onto his back on the bed. She straddled his hips, hands on his shoulders, leaning over him, kissing him again passionately. She reached her hand down under her belly and between her legs to grab his cock. She loved cocks in the state of being that she found his — full, pulsing, warm but not hard and rigid yet. The both sighed with pleasure.
Sitting up, she positioned herself just over his thighs, so his cock and balls were wedged fully in the V between her legs, with his balls pushing up against her clit. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, and Lincoln felt as though all the ownership of his cock suddenly transferred to her. While technically still attached to his body, this was now her cock. She stroked her cock and rubbed herself against the balls. She was experimenting with what felt best. It seemed to Lincoln that she could feel his pleasure in her body as though it were her own, and adjusted her stroking and grinding accordingly.
He put his arms behind his head as he watched the surprising show happening before his eyes. Here was someone he’d known as a teenager, but hadn’t seen for more than 20 years, in his bedroom, fucking him with her cock, that was once his. She immediately felt his mind start to wander as he pondered the most unusual circumstances of the moment, so she reached forward, wrapping her hand around his throat and applied light pressure. Looking in his eyes, she commanded “Stay with me here” and she smiled as she felt the life force return back into his body and harden his throbbing cock.
Once he returned to her and the present moment, she released the grip on his neck and bent forward and kissed him again. Lincoln took advantage of the leverage to flip her onto her back and straddle her hips. Sitting up fully, he smiled at her saying “I’m not going anywhere” and then kissed her again.
This time he reached between his legs, fingers searching for her pussy, and slid two fingers inside of her. She was slippery and warm. She arched her back which allowed him to slide his fingers in deeper.
He reached for the metal trunk he had placed beside the bed earlier to retrieve a condom. She admitted to herself that his application of this annoying yet helpful piece of latex, was the sexiest she had ever seen.
Lincoln rocked back onto his feet and stepped in between her legs as he spread them wide. She propped herself up on her elbows to fully take in the view. He rested one hand on her pubic mound to steady himself and also to make delicious contact with her clit. With his other hand, he gripped around the base of his cock.
He looked her in the eyes before moving any further. Her eyes and her body were screaming yes, and he had no trouble sensing her answer.
Lincoln noticed how much his body relaxed as he registered her full yes. So few women he had been with were able to both sense their yes, let alone fully communicate it non-verbally. She felt a similar relaxation, sensing Lincolns desire, clarity, and comfort in her yes.
As he penetrated her, he wondered when the surprises would end? Her pussy, even feeling it only through the condom, was unlike any pussy he had had the pleasure to visit. Her pussy enveloped him completely, touching every inch of him. He was shocked to sense that it even wrapped under the circumcised head of his cock. And not only was it offering a complete embrace, it was also moving. He could feel the sides of the walls gripping his cock and moving it up further into her body, as if trying to swallow him deeper.
She exhaled, and Lincoln could feel the top of her cervix reach down and kiss the head of his cock. She inhaled loudly, pulling him further inside her. Her breath reminded him to breathe as well, and he took the energy building rapidly in his cock and spread it throughout his entire body.
Moving their breath, bodies, lips, eyes, and energy together, they danced with his body in hers, and her heart in his. As their bodies reached towards climax, they would slow down and breathe, expanding, holding, and then returning to the dance. As the energy built, the slower they moved. Physical stimulation was no longer needed to create physical pleasure. A glance, a breath, an intention was all that was needed to build even more pleasure in their bodies.
They moved together this way for a duration that a clock can not measure, for they were in a flow where linear time does not apply. Neither thought about time, nor wondered what was next, or what this would all mean. They just kept breathing, dancing, fucking — every moment slower than the last.
Her body experienced every type of orgasm, many times over. Each new peak of pleasure brought a climax that was only surpassed by the next one. And not one climax pushed her into the descent of pleasure that often follows significant orgasms. Lincoln felt his body and cock release energy into her time and time again. And yet his cock did not release his physical seed, rather it sent his energy, passion, and love into her repeatedly.
Lincoln suddenly felt the energy in his cock spike. He looked up at her and noticed that she seemed to be experiencing the same rush. She threw her head back, and began screaming and howling with intense pleasure. Involuntary, Lincoln felt his feet plant on the bed, thrusting his hips into the air, plunging his cock deeply inside her. He could feel her pussy gripping and pulsing around his cock stronger than ever. The explosion of energy, pleasure, seed, and passion caused him to cry out as well.
Their bodies reverberated and shuttered as all the orgasmic energy they’d built together released into the room, into the bed, down through the floor and back to the earth. They both collapsed next to each other, breathing heavily.
Their awareness slowly began to expand beyond their two bodies, and they noticed the cooler air coming in through the window, that night was well underway outside, and that they were covered in sweat and other juices.
Lying face to face on the bed, they just took each other in. Their altered gazes conveyed amazement, gratitude, adoration, exhaustion, and utter ecstasy.
As she left in the Lyft, she wondered if she would ever see Lincoln again? She was grateful that he felt similarly that he wanted to let their connection be a mystery, to enjoy the longing and desire, to find pleasure in the unknown outcome, and to be free of any expectations.
Descending out of the Hollywood Hills, she noticed how her pussy still tingled, how differently she felt in her skin when she was well fucked, how much more of the world’s beauty she was able to take in — in that moment Los Angeles did look like it was made by angels.